And so it came to pass that I finally graduated...
I can call myself Bachelor of Information and Communication Technology (or ing. in front of my name), but who really cares?
I'm not really proud of what I acchieved, but I guess I should be glad that I passed, because without something like this, life would become a lot harder.
From September 2008 I've been trying to get my graduation project approved by school. It really didn't go my way and I slowly sank deeper into my de-motivation (Maybe it was a depression, but I didn't feel it like that).
Finally I was able to start my project in feb 2009 (yes over 5 month of getting the bloody thing approved :@ )
Project was from feb-jun 2009
Anyway... the reason I was going to mention this had nothing to do with the graduation project but rather with my sudden recovery.
For the last couple of years I've been doing my thing, all-day entertainment (you know gaming, anime, J-drama, bit of Japanese, etc.)
Maybe I should've been heavily depressed, but because I was doing the things I liked to do, I was running from the bad thoughts that were somewhere in my mind.
Didn't you feel useless doing nothing all day?
Well yeah, sure... When you think that other people your age are working all day long and having a normal life.
Somehow the constant flow of self-entertainment sustained me and prevented my inner demons to come out as well.
I knew this was the last school year that I could graduate, so it was now or never.
Getting yourself pumped up again was hard, because my whole life rhythm was ruined at that moment.
Go to bed after 12, getting up at 5, back into bed at 7, coffee time at 10, doing your thing until you go to bed.
Of course deep in my heart I knew this couldn't go on forever, but I had just smashed these thoughts every time they surfaced.
I feel that I was in a deep deep dried up well.
Only difference was that something (the internet) threw a lot of entertainment in for me so I wouldn't get bored.
A lot of people had been trying to help me get out of this "pit" but it wasn't really helping.
Maybe because I was just clinging onto this life I had made for myself.
I mean doing things you like all day long beats working, ne?
Practically everybody has tried to help me get out of this phase: parents, friends, other family.
After some more problems communicating with people at school, I had almost lost all hope that it would turn out right.
During that time (jan 2009) I got into contact with someone on the other side of the world, and for some reason she was the final hand that I needed to get myself out of the pit that I'd been in for years.
Cammy, know that I will always be grateful to you for what you have done for me.
Not only have you probaly saved the me of the present, but you've also saved the me of the future...
Although you will deny that it was your doing alone, it was your doing that pulled me out of this in the end. Thank you.
カッミちゃん、本当にどうもありがとうございました
I can call myself Bachelor of Information and Communication Technology (or ing. in front of my name), but who really cares?
I'm not really proud of what I acchieved, but I guess I should be glad that I passed, because without something like this, life would become a lot harder.
From September 2008 I've been trying to get my graduation project approved by school. It really didn't go my way and I slowly sank deeper into my de-motivation (Maybe it was a depression, but I didn't feel it like that).
Finally I was able to start my project in feb 2009 (yes over 5 month of getting the bloody thing approved :@ )
Project was from feb-jun 2009
Anyway... the reason I was going to mention this had nothing to do with the graduation project but rather with my sudden recovery.
For the last couple of years I've been doing my thing, all-day entertainment (you know gaming, anime, J-drama, bit of Japanese, etc.)
Maybe I should've been heavily depressed, but because I was doing the things I liked to do, I was running from the bad thoughts that were somewhere in my mind.
Didn't you feel useless doing nothing all day?
Well yeah, sure... When you think that other people your age are working all day long and having a normal life.
Somehow the constant flow of self-entertainment sustained me and prevented my inner demons to come out as well.
I knew this was the last school year that I could graduate, so it was now or never.
Getting yourself pumped up again was hard, because my whole life rhythm was ruined at that moment.
Go to bed after 12, getting up at 5, back into bed at 7, coffee time at 10, doing your thing until you go to bed.
Of course deep in my heart I knew this couldn't go on forever, but I had just smashed these thoughts every time they surfaced.
I feel that I was in a deep deep dried up well.
Only difference was that something (the internet) threw a lot of entertainment in for me so I wouldn't get bored.
A lot of people had been trying to help me get out of this "pit" but it wasn't really helping.
Maybe because I was just clinging onto this life I had made for myself.
I mean doing things you like all day long beats working, ne?
Practically everybody has tried to help me get out of this phase: parents, friends, other family.
After some more problems communicating with people at school, I had almost lost all hope that it would turn out right.
During that time (jan 2009) I got into contact with someone on the other side of the world, and for some reason she was the final hand that I needed to get myself out of the pit that I'd been in for years.
Cammy, know that I will always be grateful to you for what you have done for me.
Not only have you probaly saved the me of the present, but you've also saved the me of the future...
Although you will deny that it was your doing alone, it was your doing that pulled me out of this in the end. Thank you.
カッミちゃん、本当にどうもありがとうございました
